Building Houses with Sticks and Leaves

                                 “Good, but busy”

 

That was my standard response for the first 6 months of this year when anyone would ask me how we were doing.  Of course, it’s to be expected that having a new baby, caring for a 3 year old, finishing up one job, preparing for a new job, and moving to another continent is enough to keep anyone busy.  Not to mention the everyday tasks of laundry, cooking, grocery shopping, and cleaning (although to be honest I didn’t get around to cleaning too much during those months!)

Upon arriving in Uganda, our pace of life slowed considerably, and for the first time in several years I can honestly say that I’m not busy.  I feel a twinge of guilt in typing that, and also a strong desire to justify myself so people don’t assume I sit around all day watching TV and eating chocolate.  After all, I have a job, a husband, and two young children, so my days are still full of activities.  It’s just that the pace in which those activities are done has slowed down considerably to a saner, healthier pace.    

As I’ve been in the midst of adjusting to this new pace, our pastor in our home congregation, Aubrey Spears, has begun a sermon series on the unhurried life that I’ve been listening to via podcast.  The podcasts are here, and I would highly recommend this challenging, crosscultural message on the way we think about time.

 As I have been reflecting on my own suddenly slowed down life, I have been struck with the truth of our cultural assumption that busyness = significance.   Even as I was typing the first paragraph of this blog, I felt a sense of pride in all of the things that I had going on.  It’s as if I must be a competent, strong person in order to do so much and balance so many things. 

But is our cultural assumption that busy = significant really true?  Are the things that we so frantically do every day getting us to where we want to go?  Do our many activities accurately reflect our priorities and our values?

One aspect of East African culture that I greatly admire is the conviction that people and relationships are of utmost importance, and that taking the time to simply be with others is a very valuable use of time.  When I first started working as an intern at Beacon of Hope in Kenya, I would grab a cup of tea during tea break and take it to my office, so I could efficiently continue with my work as I drank my tea.  I soon realized that I was missing an opportunity to gather with my coworkers, enjoy stories and laughter, and connect with others.  Tea break soon became one of my favorite parts of the day as I came to so highly appreciate the opportunity to step away from work and connect with people.

In this season of my life, I am very grateful for the opportunity to have a slower paced life and enjoy the gift of time that I have to just be with my husband and my children.  Imbedded cultural messages are hard to forget, and I still sometimes feel like I’m not busy enough and I should come up with more activities to fill up my time. 

Yesterday, while I was putting Nathan down for a nap, Maureen, our Ugandan househelp, was sitting outside with Natalie.  When I went out to see what they were doing, I found that they had built a house for the ants out of sticks and leaves, and they continued to play contentedly with sticks and leaves for over an hour.  What an amazing gift, that I could have the time to be with my daughter and do nothing more than build houses of sticks together.  I pray that I will be able to recognize this slower pace for the gift that it truly is and embrace a slower, saner, relationship-centered life.     

Natalie's going back to school...

     After a frustrating parents meeting where the school was not legally allowed to give details of what happened, they called another meeting on Saturday where they were finally able to share with parents what happened to Sunshine.

       Contrary to what the newspapers claimed, the fence and gates had been completed and had passed safety inspection, and a full time pool attendant had been hired.  The pool attendant cleaned the pool in the morning, and then latched the gate but forgot to put the padlock on.  Sunshine’s class was playing in the sandbox below the pool (the ground slopes so it would be difficult for the teachers to see the pool from the sandbox).  Sunshine wandered away from her class, unlatched the gate, and tragically fell into the pool.  The pool attendant pulled her out and she was still alive at that point – the school administrators and then the EMT workers tried to save her for almost an hour but she didn’t make it.

          We have decided to send her back to the school because the school has taken numerous safety measures in response to this tragedy  including getting a safety net, a pool alarm, a CCTV camera, and a pool attendant who will be sitting within the fence any time children are at school.  The fence, which was one meter high, will be rebuilt to be 2 meters high.  The pool has already been drained and there will not be any swimming classes this term out of respect for the family. 

       During the meeting, parents listed about 6 other schools and pools where young children have drowned recently.  Yet, every school that we visited either had a pool on the premises or brought the children to a pool for swimming lessons.  I am really uncomfortable with the idea of having swimming at preschool; however, at this point we feel that her current school will be the safest since there won't be any swimming this term and they have put so many safety measures in place.  One parent commented that their pool will now be the "safest pool in Africa."  We will continue to look into other options and then decide if we will continue to send her there next term when swimming classes resume. 

       In addition, we had put a lot of time and effort into helping Natalie adjust to the school.  Natalie can be slow to warm up to new people and places, so I was able to go with her to the school's "summer camp" and remain with her the whole time, giving her a chance to get to know some of the teachers, the other students, and the school before the new school year started.  The first week of school went better than we expected because she was already familiar with the school and one of her teachers.  We think that starting her in a new school in the middle of the term would be a very difficult adjustment for her.

      Please continue to pray for this situation:

 - Pray for Sunshine's family as they continue to grieve

 - Pray for the teachers and administrators who are devastated and have been traumatized by this tragedy

 - Pray for the four teachers who are in prison and will be going to court this week.  Some of them have young children in prison with them.  We learned that it is the police, not the parents, who are pressing charges against the teachers.  Although clearly they should have been watching the children more closely, any parent knows that things can happen so quickly with young children and I'm sure they are also devastated by what has happened. 

 - Pray for peace of mind for us as we send Natalie back to school and for a good adjustment for her as she goes back. 

Tragedy at Natalie's School

      The excitement surrounding Natalie’s first day of preschool last week has quickly changed to shock and heartbreak as we learned that one of her classmates drowned after falling into the school pool on Monday.

                When I went to pick Natalie up at 1pm on Monday, I noticed that there were more cars than usual (some of the children stay the whole day until 5pm) and there seemed to be anxiety on the faces of the teachers and staff.  I overheard some mothers saying that they had been told that school was ending early, and then I noticed two ambulances in the parking lot.  When I asked what was going on, I couldn’t get any answers.   I called the school later and I was told that there was an accident and I would be told more at an appropriate time.

 For some reason, they had not called either myself or Muigai to tell us school was ending early.  Truthfully, I am very glad they forgot to call us because they were telling parents, “Was your child at school today?  Please come pick them up as soon as possible, there has been an incident and school is closing early.”  I think I would have been completely panicked if I had received a call like that.  I am grateful that by the time I realized something had happened, I had Natalie safe and healthy at my side.

                The story is receiving a lot of media attention, and there has been a story in the paper every day for the past 4 days about the school and the young girl Sunshine.  We learned what had happened through the newspapers since the school was still not communicating any details to the parents. 

        We had a parents meeting at the school yesterday where we learned that four of the teachers had been arrested for negligence and the school could legally not talk about the details of what happened until the teachers were released, which was supposed to happen last evening.  They claimed that the fence around the pool had been completed (the pool had just been built), all of the gates were locked, and there were 9 children playing in the sandbox right next to the pool being supervised by two teachers when it happened.  They claimed that the details given in the newspaper were not accurate, but they could not provide us clear information on exactly how Sunshine ended up in the pool. (the newspapers claimed that she wandered away from class and was in the pool for 30 minutes before being found, which the administration says is not medically possible since they were performing CPR for one hour and were able to get a pulse back at one point).

                Of course, all the parents were frustrated and do not feel comfortable sending our children back until we know exactly what happened.  The administration said they would communicate more once the teachers are released and they are able to speak with the teachers.  The school has been closed all week and they are hoping to reopen on Monday.  They have already installed numerous additional safety measures for the pool and the school in general to try to ensure that something like this will not happen again.

                Please pray for Sunshine’s family and the school community in dealing with this tragic accident.  Please also pray for wisdom for us as we try to determine if we should keep Natalie at the school or find another school for her to go to.  We have been very shaken up by this – as any parent knows, there is always anxiety with taking your child to school for the first time and entrusting others with the safety and well being of your child, so the timing of this just one week after Natalie started school is making me nervous to send her anywhere!