Things I'm learning in Uganda #9 - nothing can stop a male cat who smells a female in heat

                When we got our kitty over a year ago, we decided we would have her fixed when she got a little older.  Somehow, it never made it to the top of our priority list, and I naively assumed that our ten foot concrete wall, barbed wire, and ferocious dog who does not like other animals invading her territory would make it impossible for a male cat to have access to our kitty.

                A few weeks ago, we came home to find kitty wailing and crouched down close to the ground.  She didn’t move at all, even when our dog Daisy came near (the two usually spit, hiss, and growl at each other until kitty runs away).  I literally thought she was dying.  Turns out she was just in heat.

               Soon we began to see a male cat hanging around.  As we found out, our wall, barbed wire, and dog were not enough to deter a determined male cat.

         So now we have a very pregnant kitty, and we are expecting kittens sometime in early November.  Natalie is thrilled.

Natalie showing off kitty's big tummy

        And kitty's pregnancy hormones have completely changed the personality of our cat.  Our cat used to be certifiably insane, as I wrote about in a previous blog.  She was definitely NOT a lap cat, and would only sit still for about 10 seconds until she would start to attack our hands that were attempting to pet her.  Now, she has become an overly affectionate cat.  She follows us everywhere, and as soon as I sit down she immediately jumps in my lap and starts purring.  She and Nathan even fight over my lap space, with kitty jumping up and trying to find some extra space on my lap while I’m holding Nathan.  The other day after I put Nathan to bed, I found her curled up right next to him.

Cuddling with Nathan

Things I'm learning in Uganda # 8 - it's good to be fat!

The other day, I had to park particularly close to a fence, and I asked Natalie if she had enough room to get out of the car.  She replied, “No, I can’t fit because I’m fat.”  

My beautiful girl

My immediate thought was slight panic – What??  She’s not fat!  Why does she think that?  Who told her that?  Oh no, the body image issues are starting already!!  Natalie is almost 5 and has never said anything negative about her body before, but I realize it’s increasingly common to find girls as young as 5 and 6

who have already internalized our culture’s obsession with thinness.

Wanting to find out what was behind her comment, I casually replied, “Oh, you’re fat?”

“Yes,” she said proudly.  “I’m fatter than Georgina (a friend from school).  But our other friend is fatter than both of us, she is the fattest.”

She seemed quite proud of the statement that she was fat, so I asked her, “Is it a good thing to be fat?”

“Yes,” she replied without hesitation, looking at me as though I obviously should have known that.

I let out a huge sigh of relief that her comment was not an indication of a looming eating disorder.  Having come from a culture that idolizes thinness and encourages women to be dissatisfied with their bodies, I have to admit it was very refreshing to hear my five year old daughter boast of being fat, regardless of how inaccurate her statement is.

The influence of the Western media in shaping our standards of beauty became apparent to me many years ago when I first moved to Kenya.  Traditionally in Kenya, being "fat" is a sign of health and prosperity.  It is a signal that people have enough wealth to buy plenty of food, and that they are healthy enough to put on weight.  Thinness is a sign of being poor or sickly, and it can actually be an insult to refer to someone as “thin,” whereas people will happily comment on others being fat or “adding weight.”

In Kenya, I was surprised to find that the models in the advertisements and the actresses on TV actually looked like normal sized women, with attractive feminine curves.  In general, an ideal size in this part of the world might be around a 10 or 12, and I recall only 2 or 3 East African woman that I’ve encountered in my 5+ years of living here who were on a diet.  

A current advertisement in Kampala which demonstrates the different standards of beauty in this part of the world

How did our American culture become so obsessed with thinness? Why are so many American women unhappy with their bodies, even those who are slender? How did we get to the place where we consider a size unobtainable by the majority of women to be the most beautiful? 

Our standards of beauty are shaped by the culture in which we live, and in the US the biggest influence in shaping our culture is the media.  More specifically, advertising, which is the foundation of the media.  All of us think we are not affected by advertising, and this is why it is so powerful.  In 2011, there were 36 companies that spent 1 billion dollars or more on advertising.  Corporations would not be spending this kind of money if advertising was not extremely influential. 

How photoshop creates an unobtainable ideal

A basic premise behind advertising is to make us dissatisfied, so that we will buy things to address this dissatisfaction.  If a woman is satisfied with her natural appearance, she doesn’t need to spend much money to maintain it.  But if that woman can be convinced that she falls short of the ideal, and if she can be convinced to the degree that her appearance makes her feel bad about herself, she can be persuaded to buy all kinds of products to feel better about herself and help her attempt to achieve the ideal - diet books and plans, gym memberships, plastic surgery, makeup, haircare products, slimming undergarments, antiwrinkle creams, cellulite lotions, diet pills, skin creams, etc.

The problem is that even the women we see in advertisements don’t really look like that.  Photoshop has enabled editors to erase every bodily flaw with the click of a mouse.  The “ideal” that is being sold to us is absolute perfection, which in reality is only possible with a computer program.  So we are all chasing after an impossible ideal, and spending a lot of money in the process!  I read a statistic that the average American urban woman spends 1/3 of her income on items related to her appearance.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2178914/What-I-want-I-grow-SKINNY.html

One of the more disheartening problems of this impossible ideal is that even young girls pick up on our culture’s obsession with thinness and begin to diet and feel shameful of their bodies at such a young age.  So for now, this is one thing I appreciate about living in Uganda.  I love that both my daughter and I are surrounded by images of beautiful, normal women with healthy curves, and that my daughter feels proud and not ashamed of her body. 

Having fun at the Mennonite Guest House in Nairobi

I didn't post yesterday because we were on our way to Kenya!  We have our biannual East Africa Rep meeting with the MCC Country Reps from Kenya, Tanzania, Ethiopia, and Sudan/South Sudan.  We're staying in the Mennonite Guest House in Nairobi, which has a gorgeous open area and gardens for the kids to play.  Here is a short video of their amazing swing and some other pics of the kids enjoying their time:

There's a tree that is the perfect size for Natalie to climb

The kids were excited to find a new playground that had been built since we were last here in April

Taking a short break from running and playing

Waiting for tea break

Strawberries!

About ten months ago, I was given ten strawberry plants to plant in our garden.  Although strawberries grow well in Uganda, they are not very common here so we rarely eat them.  We all LOVE strawberries though, so we were very excited about the plants.

For the first few weeks, they grew slowly and we would get about one tiny strawberry every three days.  Nathan and Natalie would usually split the tiny strawberry and gobble it up.  The first day we were in the US for our vacation, Nathan singlehandedly ate about half a pound of strawberries!  He couldn't believe the abundance of the sweet red fruit after growing accustomed to eating half of a tiny strawberry every three days.

Now, with the rainy season, our strawberries are thriving!  Strawberry hunting has become part of our daily routine and the kids always get excited when they find a nice ripe red one among the leaves.  Yum!

Our strawberry plants are fruitful!

Strawberry hunting

Nathan sees a ripe one!

Showing off the ripe strawberry they found

Planning for a better future instead of planning for an imminent death

                As we approached the last stop on our field tour in Kamuli, it was nearly 3:00, we hadn’t had lunch yet, and we still had several things we needed to discuss with the staff of AIDS Education Group for the Youth (AEGY), an HIV/AIDS organization that serves people living with HIV/AIDS in Kamuli, one of the poorest districts in Uganda.  We had left Kampala early and were tired, but we were instantly re-energized with the lively welcome we received from this group.

                As soon as we entered the church, the group erupted into song and dance, accompanied by large African drums.   The songs were all about HIV/AIDS, and the song leader was even dancing around while waving a package of condoms to emphasize the importance of prevention!  After the songs were over, several group members shared how their lives have been changed and they have been given new hope through the activities of AEGY.

The lively welcome we were given - the lady in the middle in yellow and green was the song leader and is waving a pack of condoms

More singing and dancing with another group

                Earlier in the day, we had visited three other support groups where we received a similar welcome and heard similar testimonies.  AEGY has facilitated the formation of 14 support groups for people living with HIV/AIDS in their district.  Through the support groups, the HIV positive members are given encouragement and hope, as well as practical support to improve their lives.  Each group has a savings and loan scheme, which allows member to borrow money and repay with a very small interest rate. 

....and more with yet another group! 

              

  The AEGY staff shared that when the groups first started, people would borrow money when they had problems – for example, when they fell sick and needed to go to a doctor.  But as the groups continued and people regained hope for their future, the focus shifted as more people began to borrow money to invest in their future – to buy livestock, seeds, and to improve their homes and hygiene, for example.  Several of the groups are even talking about beginning business ventures together.  The AEGY staff note this shift as one of their greatest achievements. As one staff explained, when the clients first realize they are HIV positive, many of them are thinking about suicide or planning for an imminent death.  As they engage in AEGY activities, they realize they can have hope for their future and they start investing in development and  planning for a better future instead of planning for their death.

                AEGY also provides its clients with livestock and seeds to help empower them to earn an income.  One family that we visited had been given two pigs from AEGY a few years ago.  In the past two years, they have sold several of the piglets and bought a cow with the profits.  They have even been able to support one of their children to begin University with the profits they have made from selling the piglets. 

Some piglets from the mother pig supplied by AEGY

 I was grateful to finally have the opportunity to visit this project in Kamuli, since HIV/AIDS is an area that I have a lot of interest in.  It was encouraging to see the work that has been going on and to hear the testimonies, and also to meet the staff who are very committed to the project.    

 

AEGY also does a lot of HIV/AIDS education in local schools.  Here a student is reading a scenario about an orphan who lost his parents to AIDS and is struggling to provide some money for himself and his elderly grandmother.  The students have an opportunity to discuss and talk about different scenarios.

A big mistake...and a few other photos

The other day I made a big mistake....I really wanted to sweep the floor so I put Nathan in his high chair with a container of yogurt and a spoon to keep him happy so I could sweep, thinking that he has been feeding himself very neatly recently.  Not even a minute later this is what I found....

The yogurt container was on the floor.  So I not only had to sweep the floor, but also mop the floor and give Nathan a bath!

Nathan has gotten really into books lately and Natalie knows the words in a lot of the baby books we have, so our recent bedtime routine includes Natalie reading several books to Nathan - it's very sweet!

Yesterday we took an all day trip to Kamuli, a district three hours east of Kampala.  It was a fun but long day, and we were welcomed with a LOT of singing and dancing.  The kids were especially excited by the big drums and had a great time joining in the fun.  More on our Kamuli trip on Friday's blog....